Text From Cat: You Have the Chair

#TextFromCat The panther stretches languorously. His claws extend in a show of not-too-subtle feline threat. His eyes narrow. He rules in comfort and will not be disturbed. Me: I get it Calvin. You can have the chair.

On any given work day, when my Apple Watch tells me it’s time to stand or walk around, I try to unhitch myself from my chair and move. I use it as an excuse to take a bathroom break, wander downstairs for a (hopefully) healthy snack, or maybe to take the dogs outside.

Problem is, when I come back to my office, I often find my chair occupied by Calvin. 

And, as anyone who shares their home with a cat or seven knows, it isn’t always easy to remove a cat from a place he chooses to reside.

Calvin is an expert in maintinting sovereignty over the seat. Depending on how he reads my mood, he may use any or all of the following:

  • Pretending he’s asleep (Who would move a sleeping kitty?)
  • Ignoring me (I can’t see you. I can’t hear you. You don’t exist.)
  • Being extra cute: sighing softly and curling up into a ball of adorability (What monster would dare disturb the cuteness?)
  • Purring (It’s against the law to interrupt a purr, isn’t it?)
  • Stretching, yawning and making himself more comfortable (Just making myself more comfortable; you can go about your business.)
  • Giving me the stink eye (Remember, I can be sharp and pointy when I need to.)
  • Not moving. (I will not move. And I know you won’t sit on a cat.)

Often I have to resort to a sharing agreement, where I am required to balance my butt on the very edge of the chair while my cat stays ensconced in the back half. 

In that case, he will eventually yield—in a feline huff.

Then I’m back to work at my desk, with the full use of my back support. Until my watch pings me again. 

Setting us up for the next clash over the cushion.

Do you and your pets skirmish over seats? Clash over couches? Share your battles in the comments. 

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2 Comments on "Text From Cat: You Have the Chair"

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  1. Bear used to be my desk chair stealer. Since The Boy moved in, he hasn’t stolen my chair even once. It’s weird.

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